It is Finished

Hey everyone, last night was Loose Kingdom live and boy was it insane. We openned with "Living Breathing Woman," our sort of punk rock song, which went smoothly and got the crowd into it. During our ballad "Orange Peels", my strap fell off and I had to hold my guitar and play at the same time. I was standing in this weird, crooked position so when we caught the break in the middle of the tune, I was like "ok folks, just a sec part 2 of orange peels coming right up" Strapped the guitar back on and finished.
The next tune was "Creature" which you can listen to on my blog. I think that's my favorite song of ours. Went without a hitch. We also debuted our 9 minute prog epic "89." Despite being very serious about writing that song, Adam and I couldn't help but slip in tons of jokes and funny faces during the performace. As I was coming to the end of my solo at the end, I tore the E string right off the guitar. So I called an intermission restrung the guitar.
Adam sung a slow jazzy phish song called "Lawn Boy" after that and then James came up and sang a new original called "rubber snake," a old timey swing tune about a man and his strange fetish. Everyone was dying with laughter as James slipped completely into character, making creepy faces and winking at the girls. For some reason we kept introducing all our originals as being written by Wayne Newton
Next we did the "Baggy T-Shirts and Cardigans" dance contest, which is always fun and gets the crowd up on stage. When we hit the first chord of "Sascrotch," our "hit" about a woman and her aversion to shaving, everyone went nuts. Even though they've heard it so many times, they still laugh at all the jokes. Midway through the jam in Sascrotch we switched into the hip hop tune "Roses" by Outkast and everyone was dancing. The people then got the ultimate suprise when during the "crazy bitch" part of "Roses" we suddenly jumped back into the second half of "Sascrotch" We encored with "Buddy Holly" by Weezer.
What a night it was indeed!

In other news, I finished work on "Public Access TV 17" my solo album, and sent two copies off to the rpmchallenge headquarters. Don't really know what's gonna happen next, but it still feels good to have accomplished this feat. And as promised (though very late), I'll give you a sneak peak before the release. Here's a jazzy little number, probably one of my preferred tracks on the album, entitled "News Real." The lyrics were taken (in some cases word for word) from a Wasilla, Alaska newspaper. Apologies for the rude word at the end :)

News Real

DeBerry
His warriors got a taste
Of déjà vu last Sunday night
52 to 38

Oh Connor so Devine
He went 10 for 13 points
Left those bears something to cry about
Engrebretsen toots his horn
For his soft touch of the rim
“that kid plays hard.”

Teenager
Found dead on pinewood road
Frozen like a popsicle

In the wee hours of the morn
Tire tracks left on his coat
Gave his mom something to cry about
And the driver’s still at large
But his friends won’t say a word
And the cops are walking down a trail to nowhere

Palmer
A 20 year old man
Raging on a groping spree
Has been locked up for two years

The DA wanted his bike
He just forfeited the key
Told them give it up to charity

Now the world’s a better place
One less perv out on the streets
And two years of peace and sexy low cut blouses

So we air on News Real
So we air
Your thoughts about some crimes and b ball scores
So we air
Opinions are like assholes
Show us yours

Song a Week - The Game Zone

So, I'm deep into "Public Access TV 17" right now. I managed to lay down some guitar tracks yesterday as well as make a few drum arrangments. Things seem to be going according to plan so far.

Today, I'd like to present a song that didn't make the cut, but is still a fun little number anyway. "The Game Zone" tells the story of a video game advice program hosted by a haughty nerd with a love for all things nintendo and passion for decent mexican cuisine. Having found that the song's excessively comedic nature might tip the scales and turn "Public Access" into a complete novelty album, I decided to save this one for a rainy day; you might hear "The Game Zone" at the charity show this year. This song contains some interesting voice effects and is best listened to on headphones.

The Game Zone

words and music by Johnny Fantastic

Just your average telephone
But on Wednesdasy night it's your key to the zone
(The game zone)

Ding, there goes the microwave
That would be my nachos, here have one
PSYCH!
No way... No way

I'm the modern gaming king
The player who knows all the tricks
Call this number on your screen
If ever you get in a fix

I beat all seven condra's
And shmegmaman eight times
I ran out of count chocula
And that just blows my mind

My chocobo is fast
My nachos are the best
My dwarf just boinked your mom
I'm the man

So pick up the telephone
Even just a prank call, god, I feel so alone
And as long as you don't touch my princess
Or my nachos you can come along

And we'll slay dragons and minataurs
Here at the gaming zone

Creature - Exclusive Behind the Scenes Look at Loose Kingdom Practice

Song a Week - Tennessee

February marks the annual "Rpm Challenge" ultimate album competition. Basically, aspiring artists need to create a totally new album from scratch starting on February first and have it stamped and delivered to them by the end of the month. It's a huge undertaking, but I've decided to give it a go.

Canceling all plans and shutting myself indoors for the weekend, I began work on "Public Access TV 17," a concept album based on the Wednesday programming schedule of a local TV channel in a fictional Alaskan town called Whalekilla. Thus far I've composed all the songs, 90% of the lyrics, and even recorded a final version of one of the tunes.

I was planning on presenting a cut off that album today, but I'm kind of a moron and mucked the whole file transfer affair up. Thus I was forced to perform an indepth search into the dark annals of my archives. Luckily, I managed to find a nice little tune I used to play with my old band "O'pinpin." The song was written very early during my Japan life, when I was experiencing a strong feeling of adventure and newfound freedom, much like jumping in your car and riding off into the American heartland... to some place like, say, Tennessee?

Tennessee

words and music by Johnny Fantastic

Last Tuesday I forsought my vows
Those two faced lugs and sugar crowns
Don't move me to tears anymore
I'm taken off I know just where
The time is wrong, I just don't care
It's all been done before, I'll just do it again

Gonna go way down south to Tennessee
Gonna go down where they can't get to me

Those stories all start off the same
Some bloke making bundles in the numbers game
The way his father did during the depression
But my ways are different can't you see
Black magic woman, bring me to my knees
Forget my principles and white man's perceptions

Wanna get down down down in Tennessee
Down inside of 17
Don't you know it's only me

(repeat first verse)

Wanna get down down down in Tennessee
Down where they can't bother me
Gonna be free